December

The month started out with me beginning my meds for another transfer.  Had an ultrasound and some blood work done then waited.

The girls had their last week of school the same week I transfered. We were lucky enough that we were able to see Trystan's Christmas program at school before we had to leave for a few days.  The 16th Nick and I drove up to Alameda to stay the night with Lisa and Gerry.  We got to their house and played with Lachlan for a bit before they got home.  He doesn't seem to care much for me but went right to Nick :)
After L's bedtime Lisa and I went to the club and I got a massage while she relaxed in the spa.  We both enjoyed our time and felt much more relaxed after.  Then we went home and ate pizza :)  Nick and Gerry had been talking and catching up.  So we talked a bit more then headed to bed.

The next morning I had a fruit salad with lots of pineapple for breakfast.  We got on the road at 9:30 for our 10:30 transfer and still didn't make it.  It is usually a 25 minute drive but there had been an accident and road work going on.  Lisa called and let them know we were running a little behind and they had no problem.  So at 11:30, an hour after we were supposed to have our transfer, we transfered 2 beautiful blasts.  One was in the beginning stages of hatching and the other looked great.

I started testing 4 days later.  And got a positive on the first test that I took.
They progressively got darker
and the next day I got this
So now tomorrow morning I will have my beta done.  I hope our numbers are strong and not too high.

Buying a House

Why does it have to be so hard? They said this was a buyers market. I don't believe that, not after 5 months. I have given up. I am tired of all the crap the banks pull. They are in it for money but when you want to give them your money they act like fools.
I can't even find a house to rent. I need to get out of this apartment. It was supposed to be a one month thing and now we have been here 3 months going on 4.
I wish I had known when I was 16 that credit cards are bad, and not to take out student loans. We don't have much credit card debt maybe $800 at most. But when we first got married times were rough and that's how we survived. Now it's biting us in the butt. And don't get me started on student loans. Oh how i wish we had free education in the States. And look where going to a private school got me. A stay at home mom that has never finished her degree and is living in an apartment. When are we going to grow up and be able to settle down?

Packing

Nick and Bailey are going to Sonora for a few days with Bailey's 6th grade class. We have been packing their stuff for two days now. Bailey was done earlier today and now we are dealing with Nick's stuff. Of course he waited until the last minute but I don't think I've ever seen him do anything but :)


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Basketball

I bet you didn't think you'd ever see a post titled that :) Bailey is now playing basketball at her school.  She had a tournament today.  It has been a very long time since I had to watch kids play that don't really know how.  Her team lost all 4 games but she got better as the day went on.  There were some pretty aggressive girls and parents there.  I mean they still have 6 years to perfect their game if they plan on playing in college.  But this one girl and her mom were hecka crazy.  Hacking at the other girls, pushing and shoving and man was she a ball hog. And her mom was encouraging it.  But I guess she wants her daughter to be one of those players.  I on the other hand would rather Bailey learn how to be aggressive the right way.  Not trying to hurt the girls, just get the ball away and score :)
She played pretty well defensively.  Got rebounds and boxed out, they only play 1/2 court press so once she had control they had to back off.  She scored once.  Now she just needs to learn to dribble the ball.  Hopefully Nick will be able to work some drills with her if we can find a gym with courts open when they both are available.  

Making Babies

Started the meds last night.  It really wasn't that bad.  But these are the little needles.  So it will get worse.  All in the name of making babies (well we hope only one but will love two if it happens).

We have our calendar!

We are going to make L a big brother.  We finished our contract and sent it off to the clinic and now we are getting started.  Monday I so for an u/s and then I start injections.  And I get to continue those for the next 12 weeks :) We should transfer around Dec 16th so that means I will hopefully have a great BFP to give to L&G for Christmas.  

I just want to cry

Well this morning we got a call about the house.  Its not our house anymore.  The bank has decided not to do anymore repairs.  If they would have done them right the first time this wouldn't be happening.  It was their fault the water was turned off.  If it had been paid like it was supposed to then the pipe wouldn't have cracked when it was turned back on.  If they would have taken care of the water damage immediately, not 3 weeks later, then the subfloor might not have been ruined.  If they would have patched the roof when we told them, back in August, then the rain wouldn't have gotten in and made more of a mess in the ceiling.  But now to fix what could have been avoided is going to cost them $15K and they don't want to pay it.  So we are SOL.
I don't know what we are going to do.  But this has got to be the worst timing ever.

House Report

Yesterday I went by the house since it's on my way back from dropping the girls off at school.  There were actually people there doing work.  One guy was installing insulation and the other guys were discussing important matters (yeah right) in the garage.  So satisfied with what I saw I went home.
After school was out I drove by again ( I know a little overbearing). The drywall was up and they had base cabinets in the room.  Not yet installed but I was okay with that.
So we had a meeting at the school for Bailey's trip to Sonora and then drove by again :) I think the guys were staring to notice my car.  Not sure what they had accomplished but they were working.
This morning I stopped by again.  Nobody there but to my surprise (NOT) they left the side door open.  So inside I went.  They put the kitchen 90% back.  They need to finish mudding the wall and install the flooring but that shouldn't take much longer.  But thats what I have said all along and here we are almost 4 months later :(

Doula

Last year I attended a doula training workshop.  I figured I have had enough babies that I could help others have them too.  I have yet to attend a birth.  Granted I was pregnant for most of last year and then we lived in Modesto where I knew nobody.  But I really want to succeed at this.  I think I can do a good job.
So where do I start?  Right now I know 3 pregnant gals.  One is due any day now and doesn't want the use of a doula.  The next due is my cousin.  Around Christmas.  And her mom will overtake the whole process and I don't want to be involved.  The last friend due is a fellow surrogate.  She is due in January and is trying to VBAC so the last I've talked to her she said I was welcome to be her doula.
I don't have a name for my business.  Would I just make up card and pass them out?  I need a plan and I need to find pregnant people.  So now I need to think.

We have progress

So today (and by that I mean Friday, October 9th) I went by our house.  The one that we aren't living in and don't know when we will be living in.  The water damage is starting to be taken care of.  They have taken out the carpet, a wall of cabinets and a wall of drywall.  I don't know when they will be putting things back in but hopefully it's soon.
We also talked with our lender, whom is also the owner of the house.  He says that they opted for the highest bidder for the repairs.  They want things to be done right and nice.  That's a plus.  But it's also a negative because I want to redo the kitchen my way and I will feel bad if I need to tear stuff out.  But we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
He also says that he want's this done by the end of the month.  That's only 21 days away.  If it works out then we will have a home for our Thanksgiving Dinner.  :)  Keep us in you thoughts.

I have internet again

The title says it all.  We haven't had the internet since we moved in so I had to post my previous two entries today.  I can't tell you how hard my life has been without being able to hop on the computer and check up on things.  (Really I didn't notice much until about a day ago).  So I'm back.

House Update

Our house is still being worked on.  I went by there today and watered the fern in the front yard.  I really don't want it to die. It's a nice plant that is probably 10 years old if not older.  The pool it starting to look green again but thats a given since nobody is there to take care of it.  I don't know what the holdup is on fixing the water damage so I am not sure when we could possibly get in.
But since we are in an apartment know (see previous post) I am not going to worry so much.

**originally written on 9/29**

We've Moved....

Into an apartment. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

**originally written on 9/29**

House Hunting

Since the last time I've been on much has happened. We found a great house for a great price. Repairs need to be made and we asked the bank to do them. It took them a few days over 4 weeks to say yes but they finally did. Then the repairs got underway. The pool was drained and cleaned then refilled. The pest control guy came out and removed the siding on part of the front of the house. He sprayed some really bad smelling stuff and then left. Two days later he came back and drilled for termites. He also replaced the siding and he was done. Well that's where the fun started.

Apparently when the pool people turned the water back on it cracked a pipe in the kitchen and started to leak. The whole room along with half of the living room was flooded. So now we are back to waiting for the bank to okay repairs again. Hopefully since this water can turn to mold they will move a bit faster than they previously had.

I'm such a slacker

I have been MIA for too long. My world is upside down right now and blogging really didn't interest me.

Well where to start. We moved out of our apartment in Modesto and had nowhere to live. So we are staying with my mom. She lives in a 2 bedroom house in Porterville. So there are six of us sharing 1 bathroom. It's a bit hectic at times but we are dealing. Nick is driving back and forth to Fresno until we get a place.

That place may have been found. We have been looking for about 2 months for a house to buy in Clovis. We also looked in a few good parts of Fresno but were hoping to get the girls back into Clovis Unified. Well about 3 weeks ago we had an accepted offer. It was in Fresno but in a good school district. We went to look at it again and found mold. It had been broken into and flooded. So we decided that it was not the house for us.

Now another of our offers was accepted. This house is in the Clovis Unified School District. It's out in the Sunnyside area of Fresno. It even has a pool in the backyard. We are needing to get approval through the banks lender but as of now things are looking up. We may be moving into our new home at the end of August!

Moving Update

Well we have news. Our offer on the house was accepted. But we had to tell them we didn't want the house now. We aren't staying in Modesto.
Nick had his annual review this past week with his area director. During this meeting he was told that he was doing really well. He wants to get promoted again and the AD told him he would have a better chance at shining at another restaurant. Well the AD just happened to have the restaurant in mind. Fresno. So we are going back. Nick starts the first of July so we are hurrying to find a house.

Just Me

I am running on empty. I cant get myself out of this funk. Don't know when it started but it's there. I have been getting myself out of the apartment as much as possible. I have even visited with friends. But whenever I am by myself I just feel blah. No motivation at all. I am stuck not knowing what I want to do, where I want to be or sometimes even who I am.
Our move to Modesto was for Nick's job. Any other time we have moved it's been for Nick. I think maybe I am resenting that I have to uproot my life each time he say to. Nick has always had something waiting for him when we arrived at our new location. I had to start from scratch. I don't like change much and then it takes me a long time to adapt. This time it's taking longer than I would have liked it to. I want to do something during the day besides clean house.
I am thinking about taking some classes at the JC but that costs money that we don't have excess of. I have been very close to graduation twice. Both times we have moved. That makes this move even harder.
That's enough crying from me for now. Maybe just getting it out can help me figure out what to do. Who knows.

My Sunday

Went to lunch today with a few friends. We had a good time talking and eating. I'm sure the server at BJ's loved us sitting in her section for 2 and a 1/2 hours.

Nick went and looked at three more houses today. He put offers on two of them. So now that make four houses with offers. Hopefully we get one of them :)

House hunting

Today we went to look at 3 houses. The first was near Bailey's school. It has 3 bedrooms which is what we need. The backyard was a bit small but there was plenty of space inside so it made up for the lack of yard. The next was down the road a bit but still in the school district we want. It has 3 bedrooms and a separate family room/living room. The layout works really well and it has a huge backyard. It reminded Nick and I both of the houses we grew up in. The third house was looking good when we drove up but then the realtor couldn't find the lock box. She called the listing agent and told her that it was missing and then she informed us that someone had taken it and she hadn't come to replace it. Apparently selling the house wasn't a top priority for her.
So we saw two houses and put an offer on one of them. We already have an offer on another house just waiting to see if it is going to be approved. We upped that offer just because it is in a great location, walking distance to the elementary school and it has a pool. We can update things how we want instead of having to live with carpet and windows and appliances that were chosen by the previous owner. It's also about $15,000 less than the second house we put an offer on.
Now we wait and see. They are supposed to give us an answer by May 20th but I'm hoping it's sooner. It would be nice for Nick to get a great birthday present and me to get a great Mother's Day gift. A new home!

My weekend

My best friend from high school is getting married. She stuck with me through my 1st pregnancy and all the aftermath. When we moved away we still kept in touch, as much as we could have being 2000 miles apart.


Well this past weekend was her bachelorette party. Her sister put together a great weekend down in Palm Dessert. I think my weekend started a bit earlier than others (3am on Friday morning) but who could complain when we were going to relax and have fun all weekend. Like i said I was up at 3am to start the drive to Visalia. I was picking up K & M at 6. We left on time, who can say that when you are getting 3 girls together? We drove to Ontario to pick up two more girls, K's friends from college. Then on to the resort. OMG! This thing was huge. It was on a golf course, and had over 2000 rooms, 5 pools, a lake and a spa. Our rooms were nice too.

Three more girls came during the afternoon. We sat by the pool, tried to get a bit of color, didn't work too well. And then the real fun started. Mixed drinks until we were all ready for dinner and then we headed to the Lobby Bar. We had a drink and then went out for pizza. We were a bit crazy at the pizza place and the kids kept looking at up like they were scared, lol. I guess they didn't see 8 buzzed girls too often. Then we headed to the club at the hotel. Can we say time to let loose. We danced until we were soaked. There we so many people in there I'm guessing that it was about 100 degrees inside. It was time to go back to the room but we weren't tired so four of us went back to the lobby and hung out just talking. A couple of guys came and sat with us and it's funny to talk to drunk people. They were so loud and made no sense. But we still had a good time.

The next morning was time for our massage. We got to the spa with a few minutes to spare so we sat in the steam room. I now want one in my bathroom. I love it. It was the best prelude to the massage and also a good finish. So relaxed. Then it was back to the pool. This time I did manage to get some color although it was a bit red. We were down there for about six hours before we decided to head to the room and get ready for Mexican food :0 Dinner was so much fun, especially since we each had a 16oz margarita. We shared some favorite times that will not be shared on here. And then headed back to the hotel. A few girls played some of the games M brought but I was not one of them. It was fun to watch especially since one of the objects was to get a guys undies.

Sunday was a unwind day. So we started with the breakfast buffet. No alcohol, I think the first meal without. We sat by the pool for about 2 hours waiting until checkout. Then it was time to go. B & N drove themselves so the left first. The the rest of us packed into my car. We dropped T off first. Then we headed to Ontario to drop off A & M. Our weekend was over. K, M & I all headed back to Visalia. Then I finished my drive home. I had a great time but I was sure glad to be back in my bed with my hubby.

My Beta Day

It was actually Thursday. I just wanted to gather my thought before I posted. As you may have figured it wasn't good news. It came back at less than 2 which is definately not pregnant.
I was very confused by the signs my body was giving. I wanted so bad for this transfer to work. I think more than I had ever wanted one to result in a pregnancy. Every other time we had always had a plan B if it didn't work but this time there was no plan B. This transfer was only meant to be a one time thing. I wasn't expecting anything but success. But I did my best and the embie didn't stick.
I talked with Bill & Bill after Anita had called and given them the results. They were so great. I am sure they were disappointed but they have two beautiful babies that lessened the hurt. I had so much support from them, Lisa (my IM) and from all my friends IRL and online that my disappointment was lessend as well. And if you don't believe how great they are here is what they wrote on my Facebook page.

"Making babies with you, Erica, over the last three years has been wonderful. You, Nick, and the girls, (& your Mom) have become family to us. We love you. We are so grateful for the experiences we've shared with you and the little babies you carried for us. We appreciate everyone in your life who supports you. It is nice to see all the well-wishers. We've had so much fun....we're going to have to get together again real soon. XOXO. The Bills"

I am so glad that I had the chance to meet them and carry the twins. I'm sure that they will be in our lives for a long time and for that I am greatful.

6.5dp5dt

Still a BFN. But technically I am only 11.5 days past ovulation and there is still a chance I will get a positive in the next few days. I am trying not to worry about it but it's hard not to.

UGH!

That's how I feel right now. I don't even think that word is meant to be a feeling.
A little backstory. Last year we moved to Modesto. It was supposed to be a temporary place because we were going to be moving to Chico when that restaurant was to open. Well things happened as they always do. Chico was a no go and here we are still in Modesto. Our lease, in this tiny two bedroom apt, expires at the end of the month. We don't have any place lined up to move to after that so we are stuck. And with that we have to pay an extra $200 a month.
Well we want to buy, but not something that we won't be able to rent if we have to move. We don't have the best of credit and it's hard to get a loan. So everybody keeps telling us to wait. If you know me, and most of you should if you are reading my blog, you know I'm not the most patient person. When I want something I want it now. It's just really frusturating.
And to top things off my body is ugh! I feel so bloated and crampy and pregnant. But still no BFP. Maybe (hopefully) Easter morning will be my day!

4.5dp5dt

I thought I saw two lines but i think my eyes were playing tricks on me. It's still very early and by this weekend I should know more. I have been extra tired and I don't feel like I'm getting sick so maybe it's just an early sign that this little one is snuggling right on in for the next nine months.

2.5dp5dt

Feeling a little crampy tonight. I am going to shoot up (progesterone only tonight) and then head off to bed. I hope this is a good sign. :)

The Horrid 2ww

Transfer was Monday the 6th at about 11:30am. We got there at 10:30 for blood draw and then to get set. All four of us (Bill, Bill, Nick and I) were in the room waiting, the office was crazy busy that morning, so we decided to play some cards. Gin it was. Well to make it interesting we added rules, like passing 4 cards to the left and 2 were wild. There were others but my vailumed brain makes it a bit hard to remember them all.
We had 5 remaining frozen embryos. Our plan was to thaw them all and transfer the best looking one. When they were thawed on Friday only 4 survived that first night. By Sunday we had 1 six cell, 2 five cell, and 1 four cell. Monday morning we only had one left. It looked beautiful and there were too many cells to count. So we transfered one great looking cell that will hopefully be a great looking baby in about 38 weeks.
I didn't get a chance to see my NC because of the busy-ness of the office but she called me later that afternoon. She said that all my levels were great and keep doing what I was doing. She asked about what we transfered and I let her know the whole story. She said that when they see agressive embryos that divide that quick those are the ones that tend to split. So we may get twins again after all.
I will have the final results on the 16th. But my POAS habit will be starting in about T-minus 32 hours. :)

The calm before the storm

9:50 pm and I am sitting in my hotel room in Santa Monica. We had a fun day. It started off with a 3 hour drive from Porterville. We checked into the hotel at 12:45 and got warm chocolate chip cookies. They sure do know how to make a hormonal woman feel good :) The guys and the twins got here a little after us and we went to lunch. We walked down the promonade and watched a bunch of street performers. Then everybody started to get tired and back to the hotel we came.
Well you can't have great weather and not swim, but you can't swim without swimsuits. So off to Target to buy the girls suits. A little hard to find for tourists, even with the garmin, but we made it back and headed out to the pool. The water was chilly but Penny did not seem to mind. She was bouncing around like crazy. She looked like a regular ol' guppie. Rex on the other hand wanted nothing to do with the water.
So out of the water and on to dinner. What a mess. That is all I will say. The twins fell asleep and the guys had to take their food to the room. We stayed and finished and now I am here.
Tomorrow is Tday. We should be getting the final call in the morning but all looks well. We will be transfering at 11am and then I will offically be in the 2ww. Well I hope that it does not last two weeks and that I get a nice BFP (big fat positive) about 5-6 days after tranfser. So stay tuned. You will be the first to know when I pee.

CD 13

Lining check today. For those that dont know it's an ultrasound with the infamous 'wenie wand'. The nurse gets all up close and personal with you, does her thing and leaves. At least my nurse talks to me and asks questions about our cycle so it's not too bad.
It was 8.4mm and triple striped, that's good. I had two follicles at less than 8mm, that's good too. I start my progesterone tonight and continue until 12 weeks of pregnancy. I also start taking baby asprin, not to sure what it does but I've taken it with every cycle. Maybe I'll ask about it on Monday.
So as of now Monday is for sure. We will know what time on Sunday.

CD, wait does anybody know?!?

I am so lost but who cares I have 6 days left before I transfer. I am an old pro at my shots. I start progresterone tomorrow after my labs come in and my scan. I am hoping my lining is nice and fluffy (at least 7mm) and continues to get fluffier.

All my meds (first batch anyways) Estrogen

Progesterone & NEEDLES (Ooooh)

CD 8

Only 11 more days until transfer. I have been giving myself estrogen shots since Saturday and I should be starting my progesterone soon. I will know more after we get my lab results tomorrow. I am getting excited.
Saturday the 4th I am goinng to a baby shower in Porterville. My BIL's wife is having twins so I made two diaper cakes. When I get my internet back at home I will post the pictures.

Then Sunday morning we are going to start the drive down. I am trying to plan attending the Gospel Brunch at House of Blues. We went the day before we transfered the twins. I think it was good luck juju. Then the big day will be on Monday. So that's the plan.
I let you know how it turns out. But until thenn the suspense will be killing you, at least it will be with me, lol.

ETA: Pictures

CD 19

So I skipped a few days but they were not interesting. Now here Iam on CD 19 and as expected I will reset to CD 1. Tomorrow I need to get my blood drawn to check my E2 levels and then I will know when to start my injections. Now is the countdown. 19 days until we transfer.

The big, bad scary DENTIST!

Well not so. I had my bi-annual visit yesterday at a new office. I actually only went once last year, I know bad me, but since we moved I just didn't feel like finding a new dentist. Well we just got a new insurance so that reminded me that we need to be seen. I am glad to report that I have no cavities. After I had the twins I ended up with seven, yes 7, cavities. So my pregnancy with L didn't have a bad effect on my teeth just my gallbladder. But I now have to wear a night guard. I guess I grind my teeth. Other than that my teeth and gums are healthy and I hope to keep them for a long time.

CD 10, 11, 12

I am so bored with this already. I want to be in the nitty gritty of all the shots already. We have less than a month to transfer and about a week before all the 'fun' stuff begins. I have my first lab draw next Friday and I should also be starting my estrogen. I still haven't found a monitoring doc yet but my NC doesn't seem concerned. I only have to have one scan done this cycle. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.

CD 7-9

One more week of BCP's. That's about it.

The wedding

So the wedding was this past weekend. It's taken that long for me to recover and blog about it. I'm glad to say it was a nice event. The day has a few snags but what day doesn't. We lost my aunt for a while and I had to take the bride to get her hair done instead of getting my girls ready. I had a plan set up so that we would be able to get a few pictures done prior to the wedding but had to scrap that when nobody was ready on time. We only started about 20 minutes later than planned and it was a nice day so the guest weren't upset. The ceremony was nice and quick but I sis nmanage to get about 500 pictures taken in 40 minutes. Most were duplicates so they were scraped but still that's a lot of pictures. The reception was nice. We had a nice buffet and GREAT wine that was made and bottled at Bella La Vina in Terra Bella (where the wedding/reception was held). We danced, ate and talked until the sun went down and a bit after. Over all it was a nice time.

CD 6

This morning all of my meds arrived. I start them on the 20th if all goes well. That's about it.

CD 3- 5

Same ol same ol. I am on BCP's and prenatal vitamins. I talked with Anita (nc) and we are set for April 6th. That means a Christmas baby. The guys are excited. We will (hopefully, fingers crossed) get to spend Christmas with Bill, Bill, Rex & Penny.
Meds are ordered and I should get them tomorrow. I start estrogen (IM (intramuscular)) on the 20th. Never had to do it that way before so I hope I don't freak like I did with all my other shots. But only time will tell. I still need to find someone to monitor me here in Modesto, I really don't want to fly to LA more than necessary.

CD 2

Not much going on. Starting my BCP's today. Emailed my nc and I'm waiting on her to get back with me. That's it for now.

ETA: I received my fertility charm from TL on SMO. She was gracious enough to send it to me with a fertility blessing attached. There have been quite a few multiples conceived lately by women with these charms so I hope it works but not as much as it did for the other ladies. :)

CD 1

I am officially cycling to make the twins a big brother and big sister. Today is CD (cycle day) 1. I am going to blog everyday (well hopefully) to let you know what's going on. I talked to the guys today and we made a plan for them to venture out to CA a few days before and a few days after our tentative transfer date. It looks like April 13th now so the countdown begins. We were even trying to figure out our due date based on the transfer date, so we know this is going to work.

So far this week

I have been so lazy! I have had nothing on my mind but my missing period. I really wish I could see what was going on in my body. As soon as I start (CD1) I need to let my nurse coordinator know. Then we can get our calendar. Does my body not know that I have people waiting? I think that's the problem. The waiting. Normally I just go with the flow, no pun intended. I really have never tracked my cycles as I have been on some sort of contraceptive or pregnant, or cycling to become pregnant for the majority of the last 5 years. So I just wait.
But while waiting I have been researching what to do to help along the start of my cycle. I found a site that gives information about herbs that are supposed to help. So for the past 2 days I have been drinking parsley tea and taking 1500mg of Vit C. So far nada. Well what else can I do? So I will meditate. So not me but every now and then I need a good talking to myself.

Sunday's Lunch

Sunday was a good day. The weather was yuck but I was inside with friends. Most used to be online friends but now I know them IRL. I pick up Darla and we drove to Dublin. We had nice conversation the whole way there and actually got there early. So we sat in the car and waited and talked some more. Then the gals started rolling in at about 1. We had 8 ladies and two little guys. It was nice to meet people that you 'talk' to almost everyday through the internet. We talked and laughed for almost 3 hours and then Lisa showed up.
Lachlan is so big. He checked everybody out before he started to smile and talk for us. He really enjoyed watching Jenn's boys. I know he is going to skip crawling and just start running, you can see it in his eyes. He loves to be moving. When I was able to hold him he gave me kisses. I'm sure he gives them to everybody but its still nice. I still can't believe it's been six months since he was born. And I'm looking to get pregnant again. What's wrong with me?!?
Lisa had to leave, she left Gerry at the bookstore. 8 women would nave been too much for him. So we said our goodbyes. I need to go up there and spend some more time with all three of them and get lots of pictures. We stayed for a bit longer. Everybody still had lots to talk about. But it was getting late and Darla and I still had an hour drive in the rain. So the rest of us also said our goodbyes. I had such a great time talking about stuff with other surrogates that most people don't want to hear about. We always say we need to do this more often but we always get busy with life and we wait. Hopefully it wont be too long. But I do know that I will be going to Jenn's in May for a little GTG. And we are going to have a Fresno GTG soon too.

Contract

Well it's here. I need to print and sign but have to wait until the 19th. I have my phone consult with Michelle then. I've done it all before so no worries.
Soon we will be transfering. I can't wait. I will get to see the guys and the twins, who aren't babies anymore. They are 2 as of 3 days ago.

My Dream

Last night I was all snuggled in bed and dreaming. I do this often and more than not I remember my dreams. I guess this dream was really bring to light what is on my mind. The Wedding.
My cousin is getting married at the end of this month and I have been asked to help. I don't mind helping, but my mom and I have been put in charge. We are planning the entire thing. This is even faster than my wedding that we planned in six weeks.
So back to the dream. Nick and I have been looking for homes to buy and one that we saw just happens to be the backdrop of this dream. This house need some work done in the backyard, not much but we would have liked to have grass. So I was removing the sand from the enormous sandbox and taking it out through the house to the front yard. In a tiny bucket. Don't know why the bucket was so small. Then here comes the entire family telling me to hurry the wedding is going to start. WTH! First off I had no music, hadn't finished the playlist. They said that was fine. Then we have no officiant, it's OK I can perform the ceremony. So I start. Then I realize what about pictures! I hadn't received my tax return yet so I didn't buy my camera. So I stopped in the middle of the ceremony to go find a wind up camera. I'm trying to take pictures and officiate at the same time. Then another thought pops into my head. The programs! I hadn't finished designing them because we weren't sure on the best man and had no officiant. Nobody cares. Why? So the whole things is finally over, yup I did it all. Then I go to look at the calender and try to figure out why I was so unprepared. Well it wasn't the 28th yet, I was supposed to have 2 more weeks.
Now that dream has got me worried and I hope we can pull this off. I still need to make the playlist, design the programs, find an officiant, and buy my camera.

New Updates on Upcoming Transfer

I emailed my NC (nurse coordinator) and asked if we could use BCP so we would have a bit more definite calender. She put a note in to the doc and got back to me the next day. I will now start the pills on CD 2-3 and then transfer will be around CD 19. The guys really wanted to come out so this helps tremendously. I picked up my pills and my prenatal vitamins today from Target so now it's starting to get closer. We are just waiting on the contracts to be signed, we agreed on everything so no going back and forth changing things. Then come April I will hopefully be pregnant.

And another thing the twins will be 2 in 2 days! Can you believe it?

Planning a Wedding

No it's not mine. My cousin will be getting married on February 28th. It was originally planned for Valentines Day but there was no place to hold it. Thank you whomever booked everywhere in P'ville because now we have 2 extra weeks to plan. I knew about the engagement during Christmas but we thought there wouldn't be a wedding until summer. Well on our way to Disneyland we stopped in P'ville and I was told I am now a wedding planner. The only wedding I have ever had any hand in was my own and it wasn't that great. But I guess when you need help you will take all you can get.
So I am now in charge of music, photography, programs, flower girl, and anything else that can be thrown at me. Did I mention that I live 3 hours away? So for the last 2 days I have been organizing my music files so that i can have a playlist for the wedding. I did my tax return so that I could buy my new camera that I will be using to take the pictures. I signed up for The Knot to get ideas for the programs and anything else they can help me with. Oh and Trystan is the flower girl. Why me? Nick has to work so how am I going to do all this? I really hope that it goes smooth. But with our family that rarely happens. Wish me well!

Feeling Discouraged

Part of my New Year's resolution was to be healthier and to lose some weight. I have stuck to my guns and have not had soda since a few days before Jan 1. I would say about 99.5% of my drinking has been water ( I had a few cups of coffee at breakfast). I have been exercising almost daily, I didn't workout on Friday or Saturday last week because Nick was off and we went house hunting. But every other day since new years I have. I am watching what I eat and cutting down on snacking but I'm gaining weight!!!! UGH!
I am not sure if my body is working properly. I don't think it remembers all we learned in school. More calories out vs. coming in = weight loss. Not weight gain. I hope that I start seeing results soon or I will become more discouraged and resolve to be fat the rest of my life. Not really but it still sucks. I want my clothes to fit, I want to feel better and most of all I want to not look pregnant when I'm not.

Another good call

This one is on the surrogacy front. I spoke with the guys tonight. It was the call most surrogates who go with an agency don't have to deal with. Compensation. I knew the call was coming as we are getting close to having contracts drafted. At first it was a bit uncomfortable but then I remembered who i was talking to. We agreed on everything. It was so smooth. I just need to wait on the lawyer to send out the agreement so it can be signed. Then on to contracts. March is almost here and that means baby making time. WooHoo.

A Good Call

I just got off of the phone with a good friend. It's been almost 5 years since I've talked with him but we talked like it hadn't beeen that long. We grew up together, from P'ville, but we both probably wouldn't admit to it. Our live took us different ways but it's nice to still know where you came from, and that you still have friends from 'home'. I let him in on all the things I've done since the last time we talked. Can you believe he didn't know I was/am a surrogate? Well I hadn't made the decision 5 years ago.
It was a great talk. I guess that it was because I wow'd him and left him speechless, lol. I hope to do it again.

2009

This year is going to be productive if it kills me. I plan on loosing some weight, having a baby (no not mine), graduating from school (any at this point), and buying a house.
I made a couple of resolutions that I plan on keeping. They aren't to hard as I've done them both before just at different times. I have stopped drinking soda and will not color my hair at all this year. I hope that not drinking any soda will help with my goal of loosing some weight. And I just want to find out what color my hair is.
In March or early April I will be trying to get pregnant. The twins are in need of a little brother/sister and I have vowed to help. It's not a job, as 20/20 has portrayed. I could get more working at Target. I love feeling like I am making a difference in somebodies life. It's all euphoric kinda like the high you get from jumping out of a plane, although I have not done that so I wouldn't know from personal experience.
Graduating is also in the plan. I am 5 classes short of a BS but since Fresno State is pretty far and Stanislaus State doesn't have my major I may just go to MJC and get my AA so that when I can go back to get my BS I will only need 2 classes.
Now the big one. We, Nick and I, have been talking about buying a house. We aren't too sure about living in Modesto but we are sure that we are tired of moving around. We think that having a home and a neighborhood and friends will warm us up to the idea of here being a more permanent home. I have met a great group of ladies here, we have all been brought together by surrogacy. And I have a few childhood friends who live up this way. We are also close to SF and Sac, and our favorite area Napa. So things may be looking good for us this year.
We have 12 months and then I may come back to this post and see what was actually completed on my plan.